When All The World Has Faded

Pete updated his blog on meelikey.com with some pretty heavy stuff. I let myself get carried away and had to shorten my reply (like he'll read it) but my full post is as follows:


     I'm happy for you Pete, I'm glad you've found love. Good luck with the sleep doctor thing, hospitals are scary. You've changed the world already Pete, we're with you. People are going to have their own opinions no matter what. So if someone hates me then that's their problem. I'm not changing me so that they feel better. I would also love to stay in that ice hotel, but sadly, I have no money. 
     Also, vintage games rock! I have a Sega Genesis (disney games, and Jurassic Park) and a Super Nintendo (Zelda, Mario Bros. trilogy, etc.) I'm not the type to angst (unless it's on my blog) but. Sometimes I feel like nothing I do means anything, like I have no purpose. I have so much I'd like to see and do with my life, but no money (and no will to leave my family) to do it. I wish there was a test I could take to tell me what would make me happy, because sometimes I think happiness is like the word 'normal', it doesn't really mean anything. 
     I haven't seen Fall Out Boy in concert yet, but as soon as you come to Columbus I'll be first in line for tickets. I'd give you a way to identify me in the crowd but I'll probably just look like every other 'hopeless enough' scene kid out there. 
     It always surprises me when you make references to rumors or people hating you because I don't buy into that at all (I know, they all say that). I don't buy magazines, don't watch celebrity shows, and the only places I go to on the web focus on positives of bands I like. I believe that if there's something they (you) want us (fans) to know then it will be posted on a (your) blog or an official announcement will be made. Everything else is speculation (total crap) and none of our business. Just because we buy your merch and listen (relate) to your music doesn't give anyone the right to say untrue things about them, no matter how 'entertaining' they may seem. 
     Wow, sorry, didn't mean to rant. Rock on, keep making the music we all love! Get some sleep and stay happy Pete, we (your fans) will always be with you 100%.

I saw a question posted on Yahoo! about how no one takes the Oscars seriously anymore. To be honest, taking anything like that seriously is a mistake. I think I've posted before about how fame is all relative. I don't think anyone takes things like that seriously unless they're involved somehow. Just like how no one in New York cares what's going on in Richwood during Springenfest, but to Richwood, it's a big deal. They're not involved.

I think it still holds weight, so long as tradition is followed. I hope they don's suddenly go casual or something. There are some things that are worth dressing up for.

I also wanted to say that I think it sucks that CD sales are down so much. I have a music phone and an mp3 player, but I still prefer my CDs when push comes to shove. Both phones and music players need to be charged. With a CD, all you have to do is pop it into a player! Plus, if you ever lose your music files, you have backup.

Also, buying the whole CD boosts sales for bands which means you get to hear more of them. If you like a band, don't just buy one song or get the merch, buy the CD people!!

PS: I bought my Rock On The Range tickets!!!

I don't want to get too heavy but I wanted to share.

Listening to the echoes that sound at night,
I lie awake and count the stars,
Crimson rivulets tracing my form,
Softly weeping behind steel bars,

Curling into the ice-cold night,
Flinching away in pain,
Remaining as invisible as one can be,
While their host goes slowly insane,

Quietly trying to muffle my cries,
Hopelessly frustrated and sickeningly scared,
Salty remnants drying on open wounds,
Seeing my soul completely bared.

 

So I kind of made a comment on Pete's blog personal. This girl Amy posted a rambling emo angst thing in bad grammar and I could not help myself. Here is the link.

http://meelikey.com/index.php?comm_start_from=250&archive=&subaction=showcomments&id=1201485464&ucat=&

and you may have to scroll through to find Amy's post, but I'll post mine here just cuz.

So, along with my earlier post about fangirling Pete Wentz, I read a post of his about how he does actually read what we post. I think in his words it was, "I follow your links....I'm sitting on your lawn" or something like that.

It made me smile (and, irrationally, want to look outside and see if he was) and so I decided to post a link to him. I haven't actually decided what yet. It might be some poetry (mine, or a favorite of mine), a link to a local band on MySpace, or a funsite (the impossible quiz, have YOU tried it?).

I might start doing it on a regular basis considering I'm pretty much talking to myself on here. No one reads this and the only friends I have on here I friended because they wrote some fanfic I wanted to get my hands on.

huh. kind of depressing.

While I'm posting, let me just recomend some things for you.

1. the book I'm currently reading: A Year of Living Biblically by (I think) A. J. Jacobs
                       This book is insanely funny and it really makes you question some things. Weather you believe in God  or not, you may find yourself asking yourself questions to the contrary of both sides.

2. Support a local band. Listen to some music, see some shows, or friend them on MySpace. Every little bit helps.

3. Take a second to acknowledge the fact that you, indeed, are not very important in the grand scheme of all things that will happen in the course of existence. It feels nice. Bask in it.

4. Close your eyes, clear your mind, and focus on nice thoughts. Do this whenever you're angry, or simply feel like thinking something other than, "wow that guy was an idiot. i hate stupid people."

5. Destroy something beautiful (ah, here's to you Tyler Durden) like your hair. Which will both not get you arrested for violating someone else and remind you that you can't sweat the small things. Even a bad hair cut or getting the wrong change.

So. I just posted a buncha crap about PW and PS and I remembered that I wanted to post about Heath Ledger.

I liked a lot of his movies and I respected his work. He wasn't a hollywood sellout no talent junkie like some others I won't mention because now is not the time.

When I first heard he was going to be the Joker in the Batman Begins sequel I was skeptical, but seeing clips of the movie and knowing what kind of actor Heath was (is?) I began to get excited about the movie and Heaths' expansion of roles.

I don't think it even hit me when I first found out. I was in disbelief and shock. I can't even imagine losing someone you've worked with like that on a movie, filming and seeing them all the time. Leaving behind children and close friends. Fans. 

It's funny how someone who I never knew personally can still affect me so strongly. I didn't cry. Not because I wasn't sad, but because I wasn't that close to him. As a fan, friend, or family. I did not google him obsessively. I didn't have posters of him on my walls. I didn't fangirl post (like I just did for PStump) about him.

I watched and enjoyed his movies. I respected his work. I was a fan in the purest sense of the word.

To Heath Ledgers' family/friends: You have my condolences, and those of many like myself. He will be missed. His memory will live on.



To those idiots who think bashing on a dead man is a better use of their time than getting a life: Grow. Up.

So. I'm a total Pete Wentz junkie. (do they have support groups for that?) and it's completely FUBAR because I don't even have one of those "fangirl-omg-he's so hot!!!" things going on.

I guess it started when I heard that song "Thanks for the Memories" (and yes, you b****y scene boy/girl, I do know that's not the actual spelling) and I just. fell. in. love. with Patrick Stumps' voice.

yep.

So then I had to yahoo/google/buzznet everything about Patrick and that whole fangirl thing that I'm not  for Pete? I so kind of am for Patrick. But not so much in that annoying fangirl way. Just the way I think he's an effing musical genius and I want to carry his hat wearing musical genius babies. *coughcoughcough*

But yeah. Pete Wentz.

Pete likes to blog. a lot. He has two blogs that I know of (falloutboyrock.com and meelikey.com) and I cannot go about my day (unless I'm running late, which happens a lot) until I have checked to see if he has updated.

It's sad and I want to quit but I can't. He just. *sigh* He has these really insightful things to say about life. And whenever someone has something to say about Patrick he's either like "Bitches! Don't talk about Patrick or I'ma shank you!"  or  "Patrick is perfect and an angel and he is so awesome that being near him causes spontaneous orgasms!!!"

So, all fangirling aside, Pete and Patrick are totally bestfriendsforlife and should definitely keep working on another album to blow our minds with.

Also, Andy and Joe rock.

Yeah, joined Fueled By Ramen's street team (every time I see their name it makes me think of that song by Fuel-Hemmorage) and now I am their slave. Mmm-hmm. So, uh....here it is.

So I saw Juno the other day. Awesome movie, it was very funny and had an overall good message. I recently got a job at my local WaldenBooks and I filled in for a fellow employee today (on my day off). When I got home, my mom was like "Heath Ledger died." and I was all "What?!". So yeah. Yeah.

I've decided that if I ever become seriously famous I will leave most (if not all) of my posts up because I really don't care what people think. As long as they love me. *looks anxious* 

lol j/k 

But srsly? I think it's pretty funny that someone isn't funny until someone else recognizes it. Which is weird because no one has the same sense of humor. Similar? Sure. Same? No way. 

I like to think I'm funny sometimes, but that doesn't mean that, what, Ryan Seacrest will. Fame is a matter of perspective (just like everything else, but that's another theory). Amish people don't know who freakin' Oscar Wilde or Johnathan Rhys Meyers are. Stereotypically speaking, people who shop at Abercrombie and Starbucks don't know who the Stone Roses are and flip, Hot Topic frequenters don't keep up with what Brangelina is up to in Hollywood. So knowing who someone is doesn't necessarily mean they're famous. So what is Fame? 

Being on the cover of a magazine for one issue? Multiple issues? Having a tv show for a couple seasons?

Fame is not having someone who you have never met star in your (possibly dirty) fantasies. That's lust and projecting.

I project. (Shout out to Patrick Stump and Alan Rickman here)

I think being famous means having people know and care about you in many different (and sometimes scary) ways for no other reason than that they either:

1. Relate to you
2. Like or don't like the way you look
3. Like or don't like what you have to say/support/wear/eat/etc. or have a specific talent, ex: in a band
4. Wish they were someone else (conveniently you for whatever reason, the grass is greener and all)
5. Want to live vicariously through you
6. Found you fascinating and/or know about you through someone else or school related things

I may add/edit this list later. For now it was all I could come up with. But I do think that way too many people post things, for example, on Pete Wentz's blog on falloutboyrock.com that are kind of personal but in no way affect anyone.

But I'm not really being fair there. Because everything that happens affects someone somewhere. fact.

So maybe the idiot who posted something about Pete being a fag and his subsequent reply affected or changed someone somewhere. Maybe if they hadn't done that I wouldn't be writing this right now.

So, maybe that's what fame is. Affecting a large group of people by doing/saying something and causing a ripple effect.

Acting. Doing. Living life so fully and damned the consequences so hard that someone notices and says, "hey, look at them and what they're doing." Making someone question something that may or may not make them a better person. 

Changing someone, someones opinon or a situation that might change someone or someones opinion.

Everyone's famous. The rest of the world just doesn't know it yet.

"...and I saw God cry in the reflections of my enemies, and all the lovers with no time for me..."  FOB

I am so completely stuck on Fall Out Boys' hat tip to Cohen and Buckleys' versions of Hallelujah it is unreal. I posted a question on FOBrock.com's q&a section for Pete and the guys. It went something like 'i like this song. were there any specific verses in the other versions that hit you guys hard?' yeah. I'm not expecting a reply. I normally wouldn't have done it at all except I kind of want to know if they were hit as hard by the other versions as I was.

More l8er. Ima go be girly and watch the new Ugly Betty.

So, I added some fic recs to my memories, most of my memories will be fic recs so...yeah. I just recently got into bandom (bandslash) and I'm on a serious P!atd kick right now. FYI my other fandom and pairing interests which may or may not show up in either my writing or the fics I rec:

Panic! at the Disco
all, including GSF

Fall Out Boy
uhm...mainly anyone/pete
also includes pete/people from Panic!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
xander/spike
xander/giles
xander/ethan
xander/lindsay
xander/angel(us)

Angel the series
see above

Big Wolf on Campus
duh, tommy/merton

Sports Night
dan/casey

Pirates of the Caribbean
will/jack
jack/omc

Harry Potter
harry/draco
harry/severus snape
harry/voldemort
harry/charlie
harry/bill
harry/lucius

Nsync
lance/jc
lance/justin
justin/jc
GSF
joey/lance
justin/chris

Black Dagger Brotherhood
vishous/butch

WHEN I CAN FIND IT!!!  :(  PS: I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU CAN SEND ME SOME OF THE V/B LOVIN'!!

More interests will be added as I collect them. thank you. Oh, and I promise to post some of my crappy fics and poetry sometime soon. xoxo 

Oblong shaped and

Closed up tight

A faery dust that’s

Out of sight,

 

Free from all the pain,

The pressures of everything,

While the world goes on holiday

Every human being,

 

They come in whites

And sometimes blues,

‘Keep out of reach of children’ it says,

‘Only one use’,

 

Give me life and let me be,

Sing me a lullaby please,

Wash it down with water now,

I’m begging on my knees,

 

Some are meant to help or hurt

Or take away one’s will,

Mine just puts a smile on my face,

My little happy pill.

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Please do not plagerize, if you would like to archive any of my poetry or stories, please just ask. Thank you. I should have more poetry and a couple stories up soon. I don't actually know if anyone reads this, but there you go. Also, Severus Snape is a sexy bastard.